Untitled.

It's not every day you wake up feeling as though you are living on borrowed time. I found myself lying in bed wondering how I could still fidget around with all my limbs still in tact as I felt the cold winter air envelope my body. How did I survive? Did I take my eyes off the road? Was I drowning too deep in all those thoughts of everything but nothing at all? All those questions were all left unanswered. It was like staring at an exam paper not knowing a single answer to any of the questions. How did I end up inside an overturned car when a second ago I was driving at 110 km/h? Was the paramedic trying to tell me that I was supposed to be in a black body bag instead of walking away with just a few scratches on my leg? I even remembered him telling me that it was miraculous and that I should be up early the day after to get a lottery ticket. That was not how I wanted to die. Whatever happened, happened too fast and I'm convinced that any memory of what caused the accident died on that highway. All of what happened yesterday is still in the process of sinking into this thick skull of mine. Just this morning I was at the tow truck company's garage looking at what might have been the 'weapon' that should have absorbed the life out of me. It happened at night and I could not see what was left of the car. Would I still be here if it was a metal divider instead of shrubs and a fence? Did I try to avoid something? Why are all these questions being answered with more questions? I want answers! Who am I kidding. I was alone and the only person that should know what happened is me, myself and I. If you ask me, I would have liked a few days in between to calm my nerves before being shown what was left of the car and the crash site. But I just kept quiet as I was being driven there. Did they want to remind me how lucky I was or want me to learn from my mistakes the hard way? Just a kilometre after the crash site was a memorial put in place for someone that probably suffered the same fate as I did but wasn't as lucky. I was feeling really morbid and wondered if I would have had one if I did not live to tell the tale. Maybe life is not what people portray it to be. Life does not have its ups and downs. It only goes one way, up to heaven or down to hell. Maybe it's just me. Sigh.

I’ve delayed this post long enough to know that my blog is now regarded to as either dead or retarded. Well anyway, I hope everyone’s had their fair share of good memories this holiday because mine’s ending this Sunday, and this probably applies to a large chunk of them studying in Australian universities. ( Note: I typed this about a month ago but I just didn't want to post it at that time )




The other day I was asked by a friend of mine to choose between the two things that most if not everyone dreams to find before they kick the bucket. Lots and lots of money or finding your true love? If I were to ask you that question and you had to give me an answer right away, what would you say?


There are probably so many ways I can view that question. Let’s break that it into half and see which one of the two is the better bet. To me, finding your true love sounds so vague because who are you to know that the person you’re with is your true love. C’mon, be realistic, there are more than 6 billion people in this world and who is to say that your true love isn’t in an igloo in the North Pole or in the Sahara Deserts?


If you were to think of it that way, it simply means you’ll have to meet everyone on this planet to make sure you aren’t missing out on that ‘true love’. Realistically speaking, it’s impossible to do so and by choosing lots and lots of money, you get to travel the world in search of your true love, thereby increasing your chances.



Well, I’m sure some people might argue that true love is not just someone, it’s something that’s grown and nurtured by two people after spending plenty of time understanding together. Is it true that true love blossoms only after you make the effort to appreciate the special characteristics about your partner’s personality, eating habits, hobbies, interests etc? Does that imply that a couple that knows one another inside out has found their true love? Does it really take that much effort to find your true love?



Who knows? There's also this one other cliche that has been used countless of times in love stories is one that goes ' I knew you were the one since I first laid eyes on you '. I guess that's just another way of putting 'love at first sight' and that just creates conflict between what I just said earlier.



Maybe after all that debate, true love just turns out to be something you read about or watch in the movies. A 'theory' that does not exist and only lives within the boundaries of our fantasies and dreams.


(This is a totally different topic from true love) I remember how I was once 'in love' and had the quote ‘Love takes two and conquers all’ as part of my nickname on MSN. Damn that felt like a long time ago. You look around and you see living proof of what love makes us do. You see an old man crossing the road on his way to see his grandchild that he loves so much, a working woman who is boarding the bus on her way to a job she hates just out of love for her son’s education or a teenager frantically calling his/her partner just to check if he/she’s safe. Have you just stopped in your tracks and just noticed these little things that happen around you? Absorb the moment and ask yourself how we have all come to this phase of civilization where love is all around us. Do you think we have come a very long way since the cavemen years?